"Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation" Review

Mission: Impossible, like its predecessor, the James Bond series, is a chameleon, able to adapt to different directors with relative ease. The franchise has seen a platitude of diverse visions - Brian De Palma's slick and sharp original, John Woo's explosive, slow-motion, and dove laden Mission: Impossible II, J.J. Abrams' darker, more emotional Mission: Impossible III, and Brad Bird's Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol, stacked with spectacle. Each film approaches the spy genre differently, but each are equally entertaining, whether they be thrilling, goofy, menacing, or grand. So, keeping in tradition, Christopher McQuarrie's (Jack Reacher) Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation is exciting, cartoonish fun.

Tom Cruise (who still manages to be the most attractive being on screen) returns as Ethan Hunt, this time hunting the Syndicate, a terrorist organization that uses agents who have either gone rogue or are presumed dead to carry out international chaos, in hopes of inciting global revolution. Led by Solomon Kane (Sean Harris), the Syndicate has eyes and ears everywhere, always one step ahead of Hunt. 

To make matters worse, the IMF has been disbanded, due to the efforts of CIA director Alan Hunley (Alec Baldwin), who believes the IMF's lack of governmental oversight has led to careless and dangerous results (Think back to Ghost Protocol and their handling of the Kremlin. You kinda see his point). In order to stop the Syndicate, Ethan has to go rogue, relying only on his teammates - Luther (Ving Rhames), Brandt (Jeremy Renner), and Benji (Simon Pegg) - and the potentially duplicitous Ilsa Faust (Rebecca Ferguson), a British agent who's infiltrated the Syndicate and earned Lane's trust.

Mission: Impossible has never been a plot-heavy franchise. Its strength is in its best moments: the set pieces, car chases, fights, and one-liners that make me laugh or pump my fist in the air. In essence, Rogue Nation is a Saturday morning cartoon on the big screen. And this is evident when Ethan Hunt grips onto the side of a plane 5,000 feet in the air, or drops into an aquarium-sized tank of swirling water, or races, flips, and crashes through the streets of Morocco. There's an earnestness to it all, from the pacing and effects to Cruise's stunt work. In an age of rushed sequels and masturbatory CGI, such effort is (unfortunately) a breath of fresh air. 

As far as the cast goes, we get more of what we love: Cruise's well-deserved cocky charm, Rhames' gruff quips, Pegg's awkward goofball antics. Renner gets good laugh as the straight man, working off Rhames and Baldwin, who's great as a jerk; here he channels some Walter Peck from Ghostbusters to get the pompousness just right. I like Rebecca Ferguson as Ilsa; I couldn't necessarily peg whose side she was on, and her sly performance helps sell the duplicity. I am disappointed in Harris as a villain, however; he comes across as a blend of Hans Landa from Inglorious Basterds and Eddie Redmayne's character in Jupiter Ascending. I think he's trying to pull what Philip Seymour Hoffman did in Mission: Impossible III, a villain who seems more casual about the evil he commits, but Harris never comes off as terrifying or intense like Hoffman, just stoic with a silly voice.

Regardless, Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation is still a solid, entertaining popcorn flick, with skillful filmmakers crafting some great action. The plot's outlandish and overwrought - as is every Mission: Impossible - but if you're looking for a fun time to keep the summer movie season going, Rogue Nation gets my recommendation.

Thank you all for reading; I'm the Man Without a Plan, signing off.

P.S. - There's an Easter egg for fans near the beginning of the film: take a look at what's hanging on the keychain that Ilsa is holding.

    

My Ten Most Anticipated Movies For the Rest of 2015

As of July 1st, we've passed 2015's halfway point, and so far, it's been a decent year for movies. We've seen bears eating marmalade, ghosts invade Skype, dinosaurs eating dinosaurs eating people, and lots of robots (the good, the bad, and the Spader). Now that we've reached the year's hump, what awaits us downhill? What movies are shaping up to send 2015 off on a (hopefully) high note? I'm gonna act as lookout, and give you all a list of my ten most anticipated movies for the rest of the year.

(A few rules: I've decided not to include movies whose limited releases start at the year's end, and go wide in 2016, as most people won't get a chance to see these films until January. Also, I've decided to forgo taking July films into consideration because it's currently the 13th, and you all can afford to wait a few weeks.)
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10) Turbo Kid. Turbo Kid is Mad Max meets Scott Pilgrim, a melting pot of 80's sci-fi, western, comic book flicks, and horror. The film takes place in 1997, in a post-apocalyptic badlands town, riddled with bandits and violence. A teen known simply as The Kid (Munro Chambers), lives in his imagination, acting out scenes from a superhero comic called Turbo Rider (think the red Power Ranger mixed with Megaman). The Kid meets a bubbly, wide-eyed, pink-haired girl called Apple (Laurence Leboeuf), and they quickly form a friendship. However, when Zeus (Michael Ironside), the leader of the bandits threatens to destroy all they hold dear, the Kid has to muster up the courage and spirit of Turbo Rider, and along with Apple and a mysterious, husky-voiced cowboy (Aaron Jeffery), take Zeus down.

From Apple's Jem-inspired makeup to the Kid's Viewfinder and his weapon of choice, the Turbo Glove, which resembles Nintendo's Power Glove, this film is a loving 80's throwback, with the heart of the era's family films, the quirkiness of its sci-fi, and the blood-splattered effects of its horror. The art direction is intoxicating: blending neon outfits and lasers with Borderlands-style grit.

The feature film debut of Montreal-based director collective RKSS Films (Francois Simard, Anouk Whissell, and Yoann-Karl Whissell), Turbo Kid has garnered attention from local and international film festivals, most notably a world premiere at Sundance, and an Audience Award win at SXSW. It's a synth-blasting, action-pumping, candy-coated shot of retro that my inner geek is more than ready for. The movie comes out August 28th.

9) The Green Inferno. Eli Roth is polarizing, known either as the Tarantino of horror or a very lucky torture porn junkie. While I don't assign Tarantino's accolades to Roth's work, I find they approach film the same way: taking genres we know and turning their conventions on their head, creating unique visions of stories we've seen before. Cabin Fever was Roth's look at body horror, Hostel 1 and 2 an amalgamation of stalker, splatter, and thriller films. Now, The Green Inferno is Roth's crack at cannibals.

The movie centers on a group of student activists who travel to the Amazon to "save the rain forest." When their plane crash-lands, they're kidnapped by a native tribe of cannibals, who think the students are invaders, and they have to not only escape from the tribe, but from the labyrinth that is the forest. Roth, in an interview with the Los Angeles Times, called the film a comment on "modern activism", referring specifically to the naivete of people who "get involved in a cause that they don't really know a lot about and they go crazy about it."

The Green Inferno looks to be Roth's most ambitious work. Filmed in Chile, the setting is awesome, both in beauty and size. When we see a wide shot of a woman being dragged down river rapids, the feeling of powerlessness and isolation leaps off the screen. The tribesmen are covered in nightmarish makeups, yellows and reds that glue one's eyes to the screen despite the horror that's awaiting them.
The trailer doesn't show much, but given Roth's oeuvre, the gore is just around the bend, and on the floor...and probably in your hair.

Cannibal films are rare in the States. Most, like Cannibal Holocaust, Deep River Savages, and The Mountain of the Cannibal God are Italian, known for their over-the-top gore, violence, and ghastly practical effects. It'll be intriguing to see how Roth presents the material to a Western audience; we'll have to see on September 25th.

8) Cop Car. Marvel Studios is Hollywood's most buzzed-about production company. Every choice they make, whether it be about a director, a star, an after-credits scene, is analyzed by forums, journalists, and YouTube commenters with the level of scrutiny that accompanies doctoral theses. So naturally, when news breaks that relative newcomer Jon Watts is hired to direct the new Spider-Man reboot, the Internet disperses like rats to find out everything and anything about his achievements and directing style.

Being a rat, I found Cop Car, a thriller about two kids who find a police car abandoned in a forest and decide to take it for a joyride (because if you were ten years old...come on, wouldn't you?). Little do the kids know that the sheriff (Kevin Bacon) hid that car, and the reason why may be laying in the trunk. The film turns into a hunt as the kids flee the sheriff's rampage.

Kevin Bacon is mustachioed, husky-voiced, and absolutely terrifying. He moves with purpose, rarely blinks, and when he hisses through the police radio, it's spine-tingling. Juxtapose this with the image of a boy wrapping the other up with police tape like a mummy, and there's something darkly amusing about it all.

Cop Car looks to be a blend of Mud and Fargo and judging by how Watts balances innocence with violence, the childlike with the adult, we can get a taste as to how he'll handle Spider-Man's duality of high-schooler and crimefighter. We'll have to wait and see on August 7th.

7) The Hard Candy Kid. The first image I saw was of a grown man carrying around an industrial-size pack of Rice Krispie treats. Naturally, I clicked on the link. The Hard Candy Kid stars Jeremy Rishe as a depressed cameraman filming infomercials. When the owners of Mallowland (think the Hershey chocolate theme park, but with marshmallows) contract the cameraman to shoot their visitor center's video, he embarks on a cross-country odyssey to explore America's iconic sweet spots, the likes of the Twizzlers and Smarties factories, and Indiana's marshmallow festival, finding not only inspiration for his project, but also his lost childhood.

I'm drawn by the combination of narrative and documentary; directors Matthew and Jeffrey Beals are interjecting the cameraman into archive footage from candy's history, weaving between truth and fiction in a way I haven't seen since Forrest Gump.

The production has a low-budget charm; the sneak peek shows a bit of the camera wizardry, and the sets are hand-crafted with lots of love. The Hard Candy Kid looks like a passion project, and that kind of joy comes across in the earnest, silly, and inventive clips I've seen. IMDB lists the film's release as September 1st, but the film's Facebook page has them still filming as of June 29th. Hopefully, the film comes out as scheduled; when I discover more information, I'll be sure to add an update. The Hard Candy Kid hopes to be the "great American candy movie". Judging by what I'm seeing, I think they're on the right path. Check out more info here: http://www.thehardcandykid.com/

Update - 8/16/15: I received an email from director Jeffrey Beals stating the film's currently in post-production. While they haven't decided what festival to premiere the film in, he wrote they hope to have it out by January. So hopefully, either at the end of this year or the beginning of next, we'll be able to catch it in theaters.

6) The Peanuts Movie. Here's the thing: when your trailer starts out with "From the creators of the Ice Age series...", I'm done. Blue Sky, in the ladder of animation studios, is the last rung you reach before hitting "straight-to-DVD", with films like the aforementioned Ice Age franchise, Epic, and Horton Hears A Who. So when I heard that they would helm the first theatrical Peanuts release, I groaned. But then the trailer dropped, and I was happily, happily proven wrong.


The Peanuts Movie reminds me of everything I love about the comic. Charlie Brown is one of the first (and best) lovable losers I encountered: sometimes hopeful, sometimes defeated, but always earnest. When he tries to introduce himself to the new red-haired girl (who is rarely ever fully seen, a nice carry-over from the comic), flowers in hand, about to ring her doorbell, we want him to succeed, but when he chickens out, we completely understand, his fear and nervousness a part of all of us. In this manner, Charlie Brown and the rest of the Peanuts gang are honest, expressing childhood in its most wishful, weird, and witty.

Throw in a dose of surreality, showing Snoopy's doghouse battles with the Red Baron, and Charlie Brown's baseball practice with snowmen; throw in the full cast, including Lucy, Schroeder, Peppermint Patty, Pigpen, and even Freida (with naturally curly hair in tow); throw in a drawing style that marries hand-drawn animation with CGI: the result looks to be a faithful modern adaptation of Charles Schulz's seminal strip. The Peanuts Movie debuts November 6th.

5) The Walk. "This is a true story," says the trailer for The Walk, and for so many films that are only based on true stories, I find a small comfort in being able to come into a movie, and completely buy it. The movie tells the story of tightrope walker Philippe Petit, who on August 7th, 1974, stretched a rope across the Twin Towers and walked across it, 1,300 feet above the ground. His story was previously filmed in the Oscar-winning 2008 documentary, Man on Fire where Petit reveals his methods of preparation, his emotions during the stunt, and his subsequent arrest.

So what does The Walk do differently? One word: 3D. Gravity created depth, drawing us into the screen and immersing us in space, giving us an experience most won't ever have. The Walk takes depth and moves it down, recreating the scope and grandeur of the feat, in a way that not only feels believable, but even with a trailer, fully sucks me into the experience of existing thousands of feet above the world, its isolation and beauty.

But The Walk isn't all spectacle; for all intents and purposes, this is a heist film. Petit, played here by Joseph Gordon Levitt, commissions a small crew to sneak onto the World Trade Center sites, in multiple disguises and alibis, for research, analyzing how long the rope needs to be, how he'll stretch it across and keep it steady. In a 2014 interview with Fast Company, the real-life Petit considered creativity and crime to go hand in hand, "the rebellious nature of the mind" being "essential" to any artistic endeavor.

With director Robert Zemeckis' experimentation with the camera and with 3D projection, The Walk looks to expand upon the documentary and explore the creative potential with this narrative. For a 3D experience that aspires to stand on the shoulders of giants like Gravity, Avatar, and How to Train Your Dragon, check out The Walk on October 9th.

4) Grandma. Grandma stars Lily Tomlin (The West Wing, I Heart Huckabees) as a surly smart-ass of a woman whose passive granddaughter (Jamie Garner) comes to her with a few revelations: she's pregnant, and needs $630. The rest of the movie sees the two go on an odyssey to scrounge up the money, all while the granddaughter learns how to assert herself and the grandmother learns to involve herself more in her family's life.

Tomlin is on fire here, in a role that takes full advantage of her dry, sarcastic wit. Anyone that gets in her way gets knocked on their ass, whether with an icy insult or a hockey stick to the groin. Her and Garner play well off of each other, as Garner reacts to her grandmother's gumption with both embarrassment and admiration.

The supporting cast is highly promising, with veterans like Sam Elliott and Marcia Gay Harden, and newer names like Laverne Cox and Nat Wolff. Each one gets a good laugh in the trailer (especially Harden as the granddaughter's anal, highbrow mother); I'm excited to see how they're utilized in the final product.

Grandma closed out this year's Sundance festival, earning rave reviews from industry writers and fans alike. Both acerbic and heart-warming, Grandma looks to be another strong indie comedy for the summer, alongside Trainwreck. We'll have to see on August 21st.

3) Creed. I think I'm part of a minority here: I was excited for Creed from the moment I first heard of its development. I'm a massive fan of the Rocky series, and the prospect alone of seeing a spin-off based on Rocky training Apollo's son got me hyped. Then, I heard Michael B. Jordan would be in the main role, teaming back up with Fruitvale Station director Ryan Coogler, and my heart skipped three beats, as this is a dream team matchup. Now, we have a trailer, and from the moment I saw this, it was destined a spot on this list.

Creed is a movie that keeps the underdog spirit of Rocky, but changes the circumstances. Apollo's son, Adonis, is a young man working to become a respected contender. However, he doesn't wish to follow in his father's footsteps, to be stuck in his father's shadow; instead, he strives to carve his own path and achieve greatness based on his merits alone. "Every punch I've ever thrown has been on my own," he says, and one can hear the mix of pride, indignance, and anger as he continues, "nobody showed me how to do this." Jordan gives Adonis focus and intensity, but can quickly and subtly run a gamut of emotions; the script seems tailor-made to be carried on Jordan's shoulders. Given his previous merits, I'm more than confident of his abilities.

At this point, Rocky Balboa's return is icing on the cake; we see him meet Adonis at Adrian's Diner, where Adonis brings up knowledge of Apollo and Rocky's secret fight from the end of Rocky III. From what the trailer shows us, Rocky is teaching Adonis how to better his self-perception and exceed his own limits (Adonis even quotes Rocky's line from Rocky Balboa: "it's not about how hard you can head, but how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward".)

Creed has enough callbacks to the rest of the franchise (including a running scene through Philadelphia and Apollo's old America shorts) to satisfy fans, but this is a story all its own, one that promises to be a mainstream breakout role for Jordan. My excitement is at a fever pitch; we need only wait until November 25th.

2) Star Wars Episode VII - The Force Awakens. What self-respecting "Most Anticipated of 2015" list doesn't have this on there? This entry could just list off moments from the trailer, Han's "Chewie, we're home," the Star Destroyer sunk in the desert, new villain Kylo Ren's crossguard lightsaber, even the TITLE SCREEN. However, what excites me for The Force Awakens more than anything is something more abstract: the prospect of possibility.

This is the first time since the original trilogy that the Star Wars universe feels like an open sandbox. The prequels had their fair share of invention (more bad than good), but I always knew, wherever the movies went, they'd center on Anakin growing up into Darth Vader. This time around, it feels like the universe is wide open, for exploration, new kinds of characters, space battles, and mythologies.

Oscar Isaac as Poe Dameron

The Force Awakens boasts one of, if not, the year's best cast. Fan favorites Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, and Carrie Fisher reprise their roles as Luke, Han, and Leia, but we also get a heap of Hollywood's most promising new talent: Ex-Machina co-stars Oscar Isaac and Domnhall Gleeson, Gwendolyn Christie (Game of Thrones), Adam Driver (Inside Llewyn Davis, This Is Where I Leave You), and Lupita N'yongo (12 Years A Slave).

All of this is helmed by director J.J. Abrams, and with his sci-fi background and success with the Star Trek reboots, I have complete faith and hope this film will spark the same operatic adventurous glee I fell in love with as a child. Disney is taking full advantage of this property, and like with their acquisition of Marvel Studios, are expanding the Star Wars universe with sequels, spin-off and solo character films. On December 18th, we're going to get our first taste of what's in store and from what I can see, we're gonna be in great hands.

1) The Man From U.N.C.L.E. What self-respecting "Most Anticipated of 2015" list DOESN'T have The Force Awakens as their number-one pick? How can I choose a Guy Ritchie spy film over one of the most hyped films of not only 2015, but the decade? It's simple, really. The Man From U.N.C.L.E. just looks that good.

Based on the 1960's TV show, the movie (set in the 60's, who could've guessed?) follows enemies CIA Agent Napoleon Solo (Henry Cavill) and KGB operative Illya Kuryakin (Armie Hammer) as they're teamed up to stop a criminal organization led by Victoria Vinciguerra (Elizabeth Debicki), who's gotten hold of nuclear weapons.

Solo is the levelheaded charmer, Kuryakin the tempermental fighter; both are played up to a tee by Cavill and Hammer, their chemistry combative and complimentary. For those disappointed by their previous forays in Man of Steel and The Lone Ranger, respectively, this film looks to be a better test of their mettle so they can show off the best of their acting chops.

Alicia Vikander, who I loved in Ex-Machina, is Solo's original partner; she and Cavill quip back and forth in a hilarious car chase. However, her best interactions are with Kuryakin, with whom she has a playful, feisty romance. She's playing more of a comedic role here and I'm sold.

I'm actually sold on a lot here. Ritchie gives us an epic of a spy film, with bombastic action, lavishly designed, period-accurate sets, and every kind of vehicle chase (including speedboats, sports cars, and snowmobiles). The camera moves quickly and purposefully; the whole affair feels like a deck of cards careening towards a hell of a tumble.

This is what I wanted Kingsmen: The Secret Service to be: ambitious, explosive, and roguishly charming, balancing it all without going too wacky. The Man From U.N.C.L.E. is one of 2015's many spy flicks, but from what I can see, it's THE spy film of the year. The film releases on August 14th; James Bond, eat your heart out.

"Ant-Man" Review

Marvel Studios is in a tough spot, arguably more so than in the years before Avengers. That experiment worked, and the MCU is not only in full swing, but on top of the world - the highest-grossing franchise in film history. With upcoming pressure from Warner Bros. with Batman v Superman and Suicide Squad, and 20th Century Fox with Fantastic Four, X-Men Apocalypse and Deadpool, Marvel has to keep bringing it to stay king of the hill. So with the Marvel Cinematic Universe in its seven-year-itch, it's good that Ant-Man serves as a barometer for where the studio's strengths and weaknesses lie.

To the chagrin of many a comic purist, Ant-Man features Scott Lang (Paul Rudd) as the titular hero, not first Ant-Man and original Avenger Hank Pym (Michael Douglas). However, Pym is much of the film's focus; he's a scientist whose studies in atomic density led to the creation of the "Pym particle", a shrinking serum that grants super strength. Pym built a containment suit for the serum, shrinking himself and fight in the Cold War, earning the nickname "Ant-Man". This landed SHIELD's attention in 1989, but fearing the creation of legions of small, but super-strong soldiers, Pym refused to hand over his formula, going into isolation.

In the present day, Darren Cross (Corey Stoll), Pym's protege, is on the cusp of recreating the formula, with many buyers at his door. Pym and his daughter, Hope (Evangeline Lilly), devise a plan to steal Cross's formula and destroy the research. This is where Lang comes in. Recently released from jail for burglary, Lang tries to reconnect with his daughter, but must first pay child support. Pym offers to help Scott with the money in exchange for using the Ant-Man suit to steal Cross's work.

Ant-Man is one of Marvel's weirdest outings (can't out-weird a humanoid tree with a sparse vocabulary, but it's still pretty "out there"). Like The Incredible Shrinking Man or Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, Ant-Man is at its strongest when it shows us the world from a smaller perspective, when Ant-Man leaps in the air and shrinks through a keyhole, or runs from the flood caused by a bathtub. Mice are fearsome behemoths, and ants are, like in Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, absolutely adorable. Through this view, the film provides some of the most thrilling and inventive superhero action since the first Avengers. It's a blast seeing Ant-Man constantly shrink and grow to out-maneuver his opponents, using various common items as brutal weapons (or at least, as brutal as a Thomas the Tank Engine toy can really be...). 

As admirable as Marvel's recent embrace of stranger comic properties has been, it's met a fair share of resistance, which is where the dark side of the MCU rears its head. Last year's Guardians of the Galaxy sent Marvel on a Star Wars-meets-Firefly adventure, introducing more aliens and galactic talk than ever, but the story, when boiled down, amounts to Avengers in space. Ant-Man, in a similar fashion, feels like a minor-league version of Iron Man. The film distinguishes itself enough to provide its own quirky brand of sci-fi heroism, but the similarities (a reluctant hero searching for redemption fighting against a villain wishing to sell a dangerous technology to the military for profit) are obvious, and difficult to ignore. As a result, the film can feel repetitive, as we've seen this type of story before.

Edgar Wright (Hot Fuzz, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World) developed Ant-Man since 2006, hired by Marvel to write and direct the film. Wright started production, but left the project, citing "creative differences." Marvel brought in Peyton Reed (Bring It On) to direct, but Wright's fingerprints can be seen throughout the film, especially in editing. Wright's films are lean, brisk; despite a flurry of unconventional visuals, Wright manages to edit scenes together flawlessly, keeping the story at just the right pace. Reed just doesn't pull this style off; revelations seem to come out of nowhere, transitions are awkward, and actors' reactions can feel stunted. The editing is Ant-Man's greatest hindrance: it leaves the story presented in a sloppy, rushed pace.

Despite the movie's snafus, Ant-Man is enjoyable, in the same way as weaker Pixar films: they may not be as great as their predecessors, but are preferable over most popcorn flicks. Rudd, Douglas, Lilly, and Stoll do fine character work (Stoll, in particular, can be so gleefully over-the-top; it's obvious he's having a blast as a villain). The action is some of the best in a Marvel movie, and there are enough references and Easter eggs to satisfy the most die-hard comic geeks. It's not a great time, but a good time nonetheless.  

Thank you all for reading; I'm the Man Without a Plan, signing off.

"The Gallows" Review

The Gallows is It Follows' antimatter; whereas It Follows's rise from festival darling to indie breakout was gradual and well deserved, I'm legitimately stunned that Warner Bros. put their backing behind such a cheap, lackluster project as The Gallows. This is a prime example of the worst kind of horror, how it strips away atmosphere for trembling camerawork, cobbles together a script from ancient clichés, and latches on the bandwagon of dying fads (in this case, found footage), to wring out every penny from giggling teenagers it possibly can.

In 1993, a Nebraska high school's production of "The Gallows" ends in tragedy when lead actor Charlie Grimille is hanged on-stage due to a prop malfunction. Twenty years later, the school is (commemorating?) the tragedy with another production of the play, this time with Reese (Reese Mishler) in Charlie's role. A jock-suddenly-turned-thespian, Reese struggles with his lines, made even more difficult when working off of his crush, leading lady and student director Pfeifer (Pfeifer Brown). Reese's friend, Ryan (Ryan Shoos), who would rather be spending his time throwing footballs at drama nerds than working with them, is assigned to videotape the play and its dress rehearsals. Eager to shirk responsibility, he hatches a plan to sneak into the school after hours and trash the set, effectively shutting down the play. Ryan ropes Reese along by saying that once the play is canceled, Reese can swoop in to comfort a distraught Pfeifer.

That night, the boys sneak into the school, along with Ryan's girlfriend, Cassidy (Cassidy Gifford). As they're dismantling the set, they hear strange creaks and footsteps, which turns out to be Pfeifer, suspicious after spotting Reese's car outside. Pfeifer and Reese start arguing; Cassidy tells Ryan she doesn't want to go through with the plan; the group decides to leave. However, all the doors have mysteriously locked, and it soon becomes apparent that there's a malevolent force hunting them.

Look at the best slasher films: Halloween, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Alien, The Thing. What do they all have in common? Resourceful, intelligent, likable protagonists. Part of what draws us into a slasher flick is putting ourselves in the characters' shoes, figuring out how we would survive. What makes Halloween and The Thing scary is that the characters are smart enough to leave the house, call the police, and stock up on guns, but the monster still outwits them, or worse, can't be killed. If the heroine runs up the stairs instead of out the back door, we laugh at her stupid decision, and are not shocked or more importantly, scared when she eventually gets hacked or clawed or eaten.    

Unfortunately, some filmmakers have interpreted that our laughter indicates we don't care about character, just death. It doesn't matter if a person's obnoxious or dense as a brick, we just want to figure out how many whacks it takes to get to the center of a spinal cord. The Gallows banks on this, building Ryan as an insufferable jock whose bullying and cruel jokes are meant to be comic relief. The idea is that if we hate Ryan, we'll be begging for the ghost to off him, which is true, but why directors Chris Loring and Travis Cluff feel we should be subjected to the annoyance in the first place baffles me.

When the doors are locked, no one tries to break a window. When there's a chance to escape, no one takes it. When someone's injured, the rest leave them alone to get medical help. Have you seen this before? I have.

But it's not the barrage of clichés that bothers me, but rather, how unapologetically they're presented, as if to say, "This is how the genre goes; deal with it." It's not to say the film couldn't do more: the red flashes of the school's emergency lights, coupled with the long, seemingly never-ending hallways, could make for a hellish labyrinth, dripping with an isolating atmosphere. However, The Gallows goes for the cheap scares, dumb logic, bland characters, and a ending so poorly constructed, it looks like it was rushed to meet a deadline.

If there's a saving grace, at least it's only 80 minutes long.

Thank you all for reading; I'm the Man Without a Plan, signing off.

"Terminator Genisys" Review

I should be angrier. To give any sort of justice to my past self (who, up until the moment my family invited me out to see Terminator Genisys, was excited to boycott it), I should be somewhere between livid and enraged. But I'm not. I'm exhausted. After the one-two punches of Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines and Terminator Salvation, I have no more anger to give, no disappointments to suffer. So in this fatigue, I've drunk the Kool-Aid, ridden the wave of glorious stupidity that is Genisys and come out surprisingly entertained.

The movie begins the same way as in the first Terminator: in 1997, a missile defense program named Skynet becomes self-aware, launching an attack that instigates a nuclear holocaust, known as Judgment Day. Bent on humanity's extinction, Skynet constructs androids called Terminators, who infiltrate and exterminate the remaining survivors. In 2029, a resistance is formed and led by John Connor (Jason Clarke), whose skills aid humanity in defeating the machines. Skynet decides to send a Terminator back in time to kill John's mother, Sarah (Emilia Clarke), in 1984 before he's born. John finds out about Skynet's plan and sends his second-in-command, Kyle Reese (Jai Courtney), to protect Sarah from the Terminator.

Here's the rub, though: Kyle isn't sent back to the 1984 from the first movie, but an alternate timeline. Sarah isn't a confused waitress, but rather a hardened fighter raised by a Terminator, a T-800 Model (Arnold Schwarzenegger), sent to protect her at nine years old after a T-1000 model (able to transform into liquid metal) killed her parents. The duo make quick work of the '84 Terminator and bring Kyle into their plans to time-travel to the future and stop Judgment Day from happening. But of course, the past and future intertwine, complexities arise, and the plot (Understatement Alert) thickens.

Genisys has ideas in abundance, but are executed to mixed results. Ideas like the alternate timelines and the T-800's role in the film are built off logic meant only to further the plot. When Kyle asks Pops about who sent him to protect Sarah, he says "those files have been erased." Kyle's reply echoes mine: "That's convenient." Was this a wink from the writers, thinking themselves clever by breaking the 4th wall to remind all naysayers that "it's only a silly robot movie"? This is an acknowledgment, not of any witty self-awareness, but of laziness. When confronted with a hole in the script, the writers covered it up, and didn't try to explain it in the slightest.

With the blend of past and future, Genisys borrows and blends elements from the previous films: The Terminator's setting and opening scenes, Judgment Day's T-1000, swapping Robert Patrick for Byung-hun Lee, Rise of the Machines's campiness, and Salvation's futuristic grit. The recreations of Terminator's opening scene and the T-1000's liquid metal morphing are nice homages, but the overuse of CGI leaves a bad taste in my mouth; if anything, it serves to show the quality of the originals' effects and production.

However, the film's saving grace lies in Sarah's relationship with the T-800, which she affectionately nicknames "Pops" (The credits list Schwarzenegger as "Guardian". I'm hoping for a fan backlash to change the name on the DVD). They quip back and forth; Pops "disciplines" Sarah, to which she'll reply with a teenager's eyeroll; their chemistry is lively and heartfelt. Amongst all the film's relationships - John and Kyle, Kyle and Sarah, Kyle and Pops - only Sarah and Pops have a connection that's not only believable, but so fun to watch that I wouldn't mind a movie just featuring the two of them.

Schwarzenegger is having a blast with this character again, and without him, Terminator Genisys would suffer. He's perfected the comedy of the "deadpan muscleman" and through his charisma, brings out the best in every scene he's in. It's strange; I think the closest we've come to this kind of Schwarzenegger in recent memory is Dave Bautista's Drax in Guardians of the Galaxy. This character is what Schwarzenegger does best; it'd be nice to see him do more comedic roles in the future.

It's the absurdity of Terminator Genisys that works: the ability to shut my brain off from the plot and enjoy Schwarzenegger, Emilia Clarke, and Jason Clarke (hamming it up to the Nth degree) as they crack one-liners and have a blast in this ridiculous sci-fi flick. Does this make Genisys a strong piece of work? Not at all - it's cluttered and sloppily written. But in the context of two opposingly styled, but equally humdrum sequels, this is, at least, enjoyable. If you're on the fence about a trip to the theater, I'd recommend a matinee or a rental.

Thank you all for reading; I'm the Man Without a Plan, signing off.