"Terminator Genisys" Review

I should be angrier. To give any sort of justice to my past self (who, up until the moment my family invited me out to see Terminator Genisys, was excited to boycott it), I should be somewhere between livid and enraged. But I'm not. I'm exhausted. After the one-two punches of Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines and Terminator Salvation, I have no more anger to give, no disappointments to suffer. So in this fatigue, I've drunk the Kool-Aid, ridden the wave of glorious stupidity that is Genisys and come out surprisingly entertained.

The movie begins the same way as in the first Terminator: in 1997, a missile defense program named Skynet becomes self-aware, launching an attack that instigates a nuclear holocaust, known as Judgment Day. Bent on humanity's extinction, Skynet constructs androids called Terminators, who infiltrate and exterminate the remaining survivors. In 2029, a resistance is formed and led by John Connor (Jason Clarke), whose skills aid humanity in defeating the machines. Skynet decides to send a Terminator back in time to kill John's mother, Sarah (Emilia Clarke), in 1984 before he's born. John finds out about Skynet's plan and sends his second-in-command, Kyle Reese (Jai Courtney), to protect Sarah from the Terminator.

Here's the rub, though: Kyle isn't sent back to the 1984 from the first movie, but an alternate timeline. Sarah isn't a confused waitress, but rather a hardened fighter raised by a Terminator, a T-800 Model (Arnold Schwarzenegger), sent to protect her at nine years old after a T-1000 model (able to transform into liquid metal) killed her parents. The duo make quick work of the '84 Terminator and bring Kyle into their plans to time-travel to the future and stop Judgment Day from happening. But of course, the past and future intertwine, complexities arise, and the plot (Understatement Alert) thickens.

Genisys has ideas in abundance, but are executed to mixed results. Ideas like the alternate timelines and the T-800's role in the film are built off logic meant only to further the plot. When Kyle asks Pops about who sent him to protect Sarah, he says "those files have been erased." Kyle's reply echoes mine: "That's convenient." Was this a wink from the writers, thinking themselves clever by breaking the 4th wall to remind all naysayers that "it's only a silly robot movie"? This is an acknowledgment, not of any witty self-awareness, but of laziness. When confronted with a hole in the script, the writers covered it up, and didn't try to explain it in the slightest.

With the blend of past and future, Genisys borrows and blends elements from the previous films: The Terminator's setting and opening scenes, Judgment Day's T-1000, swapping Robert Patrick for Byung-hun Lee, Rise of the Machines's campiness, and Salvation's futuristic grit. The recreations of Terminator's opening scene and the T-1000's liquid metal morphing are nice homages, but the overuse of CGI leaves a bad taste in my mouth; if anything, it serves to show the quality of the originals' effects and production.

However, the film's saving grace lies in Sarah's relationship with the T-800, which she affectionately nicknames "Pops" (The credits list Schwarzenegger as "Guardian". I'm hoping for a fan backlash to change the name on the DVD). They quip back and forth; Pops "disciplines" Sarah, to which she'll reply with a teenager's eyeroll; their chemistry is lively and heartfelt. Amongst all the film's relationships - John and Kyle, Kyle and Sarah, Kyle and Pops - only Sarah and Pops have a connection that's not only believable, but so fun to watch that I wouldn't mind a movie just featuring the two of them.

Schwarzenegger is having a blast with this character again, and without him, Terminator Genisys would suffer. He's perfected the comedy of the "deadpan muscleman" and through his charisma, brings out the best in every scene he's in. It's strange; I think the closest we've come to this kind of Schwarzenegger in recent memory is Dave Bautista's Drax in Guardians of the Galaxy. This character is what Schwarzenegger does best; it'd be nice to see him do more comedic roles in the future.

It's the absurdity of Terminator Genisys that works: the ability to shut my brain off from the plot and enjoy Schwarzenegger, Emilia Clarke, and Jason Clarke (hamming it up to the Nth degree) as they crack one-liners and have a blast in this ridiculous sci-fi flick. Does this make Genisys a strong piece of work? Not at all - it's cluttered and sloppily written. But in the context of two opposingly styled, but equally humdrum sequels, this is, at least, enjoyable. If you're on the fence about a trip to the theater, I'd recommend a matinee or a rental.

Thank you all for reading; I'm the Man Without a Plan, signing off.