"The Boy" Review

January is the month synonymous with "terrible movies, and even worse horror films." This month is my warm-up, the time for an easy lob over the plate and a subsequent home run smash of CONDEMNATION out of the park. My level of anger exceeds "flurry of F-bombs", on the verge of "speaking in tongues." And if we're being honest with each other, reader, I kinda love it. So what opinion of volcanic proportions does the Man Without a Plan have towards The Boy, a movie about a woman haunted by a creepy doll?!

It's ok. In fact, I'd recommend it. (Don't worry, this is weird for me too.)

When Greta (Lauren Cohan) accepts a job to nanny for the Heelshires (Diana Hardcastle & Jim Norton), an eccentric, old English couple, she's stunned to discover their "son", Brahms, is in reality, a porcelain doll. Mrs. Heelshire gives Greta a schedule for taking care of Brahms, including feeding him, reading books out loud, and playing classical music at the volume I reserve for Mastodon's Blood Mountain, stressing that he is very "particular" about each task being done just right. Greta is (naturally) weirded out, choosing to ignore the doll, but as shoes go missing, floorboards start creaking, and strangers start breathing heavily into the phone, she begins to suspect a more malevolent force between Brahms' glassy eyes.

I'd have an easier time recommending this if it were directed with a subtler hand - the movie will follow jump-scares with awkward slow motion; show the audience an object, and not half a second later, zoom in to remind us of its importance as if we needed our hands held; interject digitally imposed effects with quick edits. For a film that wants me to constantly question if what's happening is real or not, all the flashiness is distracting, and pulls me out of the illusion. On top of this, for the first half of the movie, the "creepy" stuff that's supposed to convince us the doll is alive is the same kind of stuff we've seen in other scary films: the jiggling doorknob, the ghostly child giggles, the doll randomly appearing and disappearing. It's not done poorly, just done before. 

But let's talk about what's good here. First off, the doll IS unnerving. I wouldn't designate it nightmare fuel like "The Conjuring"'s Annabelle, but the movie sticks to a classic scary staple - pale little kids in suits are just...unnatural. Now, make it a doll. Just saying, when Brahms gives the camera a stare-down, it gets a little uncomfortable.

The movie borrows from a handful of horror - The Others, Sinister 2, and Friday the 13th Part 2, to name a few - but the choices made to cobble the story together are well selected, and serve to give the later half some fair twists from what I expected. Just when I was slipping into boredom, the film grabbed me; so if you're a horror nut finding yourself bobbing in and out of boredom, give it a chance, it'll get there.

I'm probably giving The Boy the benefit from lowered expectations, but as far as horror movies go, this one intrigued me and got better around the end. It got creepy and took some chances that paid off. In no way is this a masterpiece, but given my usual crop, this is a step in the right direction. Go on a matinee and have some fun. The Boy comes out January 22nd. 

Thank you all for reading; I'm the Man Without a Plan, signing off.