"Don't Breathe" Review

Most of my disappointment with Don't Breathe stems from its director, Fede Alvarez, who helmed the 2013 remake of Evil Dead.

Evil Dead was a bloodbath, a kick to the balls for stale franchises (Saw) and pointless reboots (Friday the 13th, Quarantine). Alvarez's take was outrageous, with black humor and wince-inducing kills. It brought grindhouse to the 21st Century and we are all better for it.

Alvarez brings that style to Don't Breathe, a story about three robbers (Jane Levy, Daniel Zovatto, Dylan Minnette) who break into a retired blind vet's (Stephen Lang) home, unaware of the danger he poses to them. 

The trailer presented a near-silent movie. Once the robbers were in the house, the tension of not being heard (and subsequently caught) would add to the suspense. Instead, a heavy-handed camera and editor often defuse tension for cheap, booming jumps.

The overwrought style leads to inconsistencies, worst of which being the Blind Man's hearing. The sound of a robber slamming up against the wall or loudly whispering to his partner isn't enough for the vet to catch, but God forbid he lean on a creaky floorboard. The scares become predictable and nonsensical.

A hulking Stephen Lang is this movie's menace. Sniffing for a scent or jerking his head toward a sound, Lang is animalistic and unpredictable. Just the sight of his dead eyes is frightening.

Near the end, the film reveals more of the vet's secrets. The change of pace works and by circumventing some clichés, the movie brings out some chills. Unfortunately, the ending drags and grows so goofy that the movie completely wastes its burst of good will.

The concept of the "inept protagonist" isn't faulty. In Green Room, it's executed correctly and the effect is immersion. How many people know how to efficiently escape a troop of Neo-Nazis armed to the teeth with guns and trained dogs? Exactly. It's not far-fetched for a couple scrawny teens to struggle. It forces the viewer in the character's point of view. 

But here's where it gets tricky: the film can't present a method of escape that the character doesn't try. If an idiot like me sees a window, I'm gonna try to break it. If a man who's tried to kill me within the last 30 seconds is on the ground and I have a gun, I'm taking the shot.

So when in Don't Breathe, the characters are too inept to at least entertain the notion of a simple escape, the immersion is broken.

I feel I've discovered a new truth to the term "painfully mediocre." Don't Breathe isn't bad, but given Alvarez's previous work, this is a step backward into the familiar territory Evil Dead railed against. Go watch Green Room if you haven't already and if you have, watch it again. That film is a punk rock thriller both claustrophobic and gut-wrenching. How do you go wrong with that?

Thank you all for reading. I'm the Man Without a Plan, signing off.